#also really like how like. traumatized he got
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loveandlegacy · 2 days ago
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the thing that extra rules/is extra chilling is that he arguably might not have gotten his daughter back if you really think about it, or may have gotten an outrageously fucked up half-version of her.
this is kind of a shaky theory that hinges on old lore but in league orianna basically gets her body replaced in pieces over time as different organs fail due to her exposure to toxins in zaun. as this happens she starts to lose her sense of self and becomes increasingly alienated from the idea of whoever orianna was before all these transformations. but in the show it seems like she just. died. and then came back as a little robot girl which imo has some outrageously traumatic implications. like to go from your last memories being "dying" to "waking up in a body that you don't recognize at all"? lol no way she's normal
also linke said (tho take this with a grain of salt) that in the show sky was part of what brought orianna back to life. i'm not entirely sure how to interpret this but one way you could take it is that whatever fragments of her consciousness or memory remained in the hexcore (or wherever lol) got imbued into orianna, thereby creating someone with a distinctly different and possibly fractured personality upon her resurrection.
all of which i feel like singed.....possibly knew could happen? given that it clearly wasn't his first attempt at bringing people or animals back from the dead but he did it anyway because he just kind of likes the idea of having his daughter back regardless of the actual consequences of that and that feels profoundly on brand for him
absolutely obsessed that singed of all characters took the fattest W in the end like here's dr. plotdevice mcwarcrimes chilling in the background actively making things worse for everyone through the whole show but was so committed to minding his own business he walked out completely unscathed with his daughter newly restored. king shit honestly
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miifu666 · 1 day ago
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you've seen me babble about Yan! Wukong... BUT THIS TIME ITS MACAQUE!! i know he has a big dick- I've always wanted to write abt Macaque, just never had the time to but now I do- hihihii thank you for those who asked for him ♡♡
⋆˙⟡ —CW: Yandere, ooc Macaque, noncon drugging, rough Macaque, insecurities mentioned, manipulative, art is oc x canon but drabble is canon x reader.
Yandere! Macaque
Imagining Yan! Macaque who knows which words to strike your insecurities, what sentences can fully make you dissociate in the middle of the day. To let him be the one who guides you while you're busy drowning in your self-doubt. His hands maneuvering itself to gently lay on your back, the other acting like a fence, making sure no one can bump into you. He coos about how unfortunate you are, poor little you. Yet, his smirk came forth as he looks back.
"Ohohoho! Look at how you're dressed, baby~ well … maybe this part is a little tight for you, don't you think?"
Macaque tasted the bitter end of the stick, while Wukong got to gloat about the honeyed drip he tasted. The dark simian makes sure you never see the good side of that sage, he'll inject every single downside of every trait you love about Wukong. Sometimes, he even uses your own words against you. Turning your friends and family against you for having the same traits as that monkey you adore. You think Wukong's empathetic? How does it feel to be fooled and scammed by your own friends? Wukong's ambitious? Oh but it eats you up doesn't it? You'll never be good enough for yourself. Macaque is observant, he lives in the shadow and he knows how to use your own surroundings to make you feel little.
"Well, im glad you've learned your lesson…i know its hard to accept that sometimes good things, aren't always good, sweetheart"
He remembers when Wukong was possessed by LBD, there was a sense of longing whenever he thought back to how he was also under her control. The images of you so pliant, harmless and a soft bundle of drug induced state inspires him to try and concoct his own drug. Maybe even steals one from a pharmaceutical, any drug will do. As long as it keeps you pliant and adorable, no horrible side effects, at least that's what he hoped for.
He'll study how much doses you need to ensure you're all hazy and high as a kite. Can't even reach the door to his dojo without stumbling and holding on. So cute, adorable, ugh what other words can he use? You're all helpless, who would make sure you dont stumble and hit your head now hmm? Don't worry, your dear boyfriend Macaque is here. Albeit seeing you like this strikes a sadistic side of him he didn't know of.
"Hey hey, where you going sweetheart? A drunken little thing like you shouldn't walk around without any help. What if some big bad guy takes advantage of you hmm? Poor thing"
Macaque knows what he's doing is wrong. Punishing you, keeping you hidden, heck he even silently drugged you without your knowledge just so he can fulfill his stupid fantasy. He's not delusional, there's guilt eating him up and the only way a traumatized simian can say sorry is through his actions and services. he's the best at handling things patiently with care, Macaque will take care of you in ways he knows best, and he's really good at it too.
"Ohoho what's this? You missed me this much? Hahaha so cute.. ill have a fun time ravishing you.. just lay down and let me do my thing"
Yan! Macaque who longs for someone to share the lonely nights with him, someone who he can cuddle with and talk about the stars and which stupid cat reactions you are. Its all he ever dreams of, all he longs for. Yan! Macaque understand every single insecurity you're going through, he knows how to handle it. He'll help you through it, He'll make sure you wont have lonely nights to cry yourself to sleep on. Maybe if you close your eyes hard enough, you can forget about the shackle on your leg and the bruising lovebites around your intimate areas.
"I know… its hard, its tough but life happens and.. i know my little sweetheart can pull through.. you always do. Thats what i love about you.. haha even got me a little too obsessed"
Macaque is a good mate whether you admit it or not, his observant eyes and omniscient six ears focused solely on you. The slight sniff from your nose can be a sign of an oncoming sickness, within no time he'll be ready with the blankets, warm tea, tissues and medicine! You might think he's heartless, sure he locks you up whenever he goes out, talks you down every time you feel confident enough to leave him and yeah he might have a need to see you helpless without him But! But! He's not neglectful, maybe there are times where you feel like he's infantilizing you. Yet he swears it's just an instinct, he always makes sure you get your proper meals, he even watches cooking shows just to make sure you eat your flavourful food! Not those salt and pepper tasteless things.
"I made you something~ ...what? It tastes funny? Hmmm must be the new recipe im trying, im sure you're just not used to it, hun"
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musashi · 2 days ago
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Musing on Movie!Nessa's Future in Part 2
A lot of people simultaneously expressing confusion alongside their celebration of Nessarose finally being played by a wheelchair user, because her being able to walk in act 2 is obviously a huge plot point--the spell cast on the shoes is what turns them into the ruby slippers which establishes the continuity and leads to a bunch of other plot threads, etc etc.
This is obviously the reason a lot of people give for her being played by an able-bodied actress in the past, it's obviously a bullshit reason because a huge majority of wheelchair users are ambulatory and can walk and stand for varying periods of time just fine. So like. They could have still had an ambulatory wheelchair user playing her, but I digress: the point is she is played by Marissa Bode in the movie. A wheelchair user, hurray!
These are just the opinions of someone who is not a wheelchair user so take them with a grain of salt (and please speak up if you have your own stuff to say as a member of the community!) but from what I can see as someone who's been insane about Wicked for about 15 years now, the movie did a lot of good for Nessa's character. Previously, the ableism toward her was baked into the metanarrative itself, but it's now been moved to a more realistic place--the characters within the story.
Previously Nessa was treated with little agency or autonomy not only by the characters but by the people writing the story. Most notably of all, her chair is constantly being grabbed and wheeled around by other characters. The movie corrects this--she is very rarely wheeled around except by her father (and he is called out for his coddling/infantilizing of her by Elphaba within 2 minutes of their introduction) and the one time a stranger tries to do this in what reads even to me as a genuinely traumatizing and far too familiar scene for any wheelchair user to have to sit through, Elphaba immediately fucking goes apeshit and starts throwing fucking furniture. Nessa herself also tries to advocate for herself and tell the professor in question to stop kidnapping/assaulting her and is, again, realistically not listened to.
This last bit obviously happens in the stage musical too but Nessa's own agency is much less pronounced. The movie adds little things here and there to give her more of that agency--Elphaba's protectiveness is much less "I have to help and watch over my poor disabled sister" and much more "I have to make sure no one underestimates or takes advantage of her." Even the plot detail that Elphaba was not there to be her caretaker but just to drop her off and make sure she got settled in her dorm adds leaps and bounds to Nessa's autonomy. Her and Boq's shared look in the opening ceremonies where they both bond beforehand at their inability to see over the crowds' standing ovation. And of course, the dance scene, where he no longer wheels her out but instead beckons her to follow him!
These little details add up in ways that are, at least in my opinion, very meaningful. They also extend to the production itself--where the sets were made accessible for Marissa and she was even allowed to do her own stunts, in her wheelchair! That part in the beginning where Elphaba levitates her was her in a harness in her fucking chair and all. Dope as FUCK.
So I am mentioning all of this because I think the people working on this movie have shown that they are unafraid to make changes to Nessa to be more respectful to her agency. The ableism she faces, which is still plentiful, is framed as such instead of just casually brushed off & baked into the narrative. By making these small changes, Nessa is not just an unfortunate stereotype of a disabled woman, but a real and fleshed-out person who is dealing with the consequences of those exact stereotypes in the society she lives in. I really liked that! I don't know how others feel about it, but I thought it was very well-shifted.
All that said, 'curing' your disabled character is obviously, like, the biggest no-no of writing a disabled character. And that plot beat is a huge one in every version of Wicked... so far. But here's the thing. We have a shot of Dorothy wearing the slippers. And they... are silver.
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Why. Are they silver.
And they are silver in all of Dorothy's small little cameos. Every single one. Even though this shot, which was used primarily for promotional material to draw people in like "Hey! Wizord of Oz! This is What The Refrance!" did not make the choice to even suggest that they should ever be red. One of the most important pieces of iconography, consciously and notably absent.
I genuinely don't think Nessa's going to have her disability taken away in part 2. With how much love to this part of her has been done to the retooling of her character, I do not think it is a stretch to assume that they will find a way to advance the plot without removing her disability. I believe this because that is the right thing to do for Nessa, to ascend her character, however you feel about it--she should stay in her chair. She deserves to continue on the way she is.
I realize this little change effects a lot. But after seeing part one, I am confident they can do it and do it well and replace what the change takes away with something just as good. I have so much faith in the direction of these movies. I really, truly believe it will happen and it will be good and satisfying and perfect.
It might still happen, sure--Marissa might get a stunt double, or CGI, or some other brand of movie magic. The shoes may still get enchanted and stay silver to pay homage to the original Oz books. But I can't help but consider that idea and keep asking myself... why. That makes so much less sense. Why not give movie audiences the red slippers, draw them in with the imagery, give them one more lion cub in the bike basket or Boq talking about how much he cries or poppies putting the whole class to sleep. Why not give us the ruby slippers when you... could.
I think because this is going to be a big, long awaited improvement. And I think it is hiding there in plain sight.
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lumineary-arts · 2 days ago
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Can you explain more about the Thuzi relationship in your murder drone swap au please? I am in LOVE with your AU and while i am a Nuzi shipper for life, i am interested how Thad and Uzi relationship is like with them being in V and N’s role respectively.
This is gonna be a DOOOOZY so sit back and enjoy the essay!
Back in the mansion, Thad and Uzi 100% had mutual crushes on each other. Uzi was the tomboyish maid who didn't always love doing her duties and she ESPECIALLY didn't like being bossed around, but there were a few things making it worth it. For one, there was her bond with Nori, there was the fact she needed to look after Doll, and then there was Thad.
In the mansion he was always super friendly and chill. Very outgoing despite their situation. Even though Lizzy gave her shit a lot of the time just for being.. her, Thad was extremely kind to Uzi. He'd lightly flirt with her a lot, they bonded over her interests, and it was obvious to both of them that they had a good thing going.
When their memories got wiped and they got turned into Disassembly Drones, his personality seemed to do a 180. All of a sudden, though he was still outgoing and flirty, he was also violent, smug and acted, for a lack of a better term, like a douche. She still liked him though, she felt like she could kinda see beyond that. I mean.. sure they spent less time together, given how he spends a lot more time ripping the entrails out of whatever poor worker drone he set his eyes on... but he was still Thad. They had a.. thing going on... she thinks. She can't remember. But, she still liked him.
But when she met N, this sweet and nerdy worker drone who actually got along with her really well and seemed to always have his heart in the right place, she really started to tolerate Thad's "bully" behavior towards him a lot less. N wasn't really throwing punches back in Thad's way so that made it hard to watch. She was usually the mediator between them and being way more hot-headed than N was, she often got into arguments with Thad every time it happened. By Episode 3, she realized she wasn't crushing on him like she was before.
Even with that though, she still cared about him so much. When he sacrifices himself in Episode 6 she's beside herself. Overall, Thad's still extremely important to her and she does love him, just not in the same way she did before. They're very very close to this day.
On Thad's end of things, his personality change after their transformation was more of a facade than anything. He took on a violent, macho persona because it made him feel safer and more in control of himself, even though he still had the traumatizing memories of the mansion. He remembered Uzi and their mutual crushes, his feelings for her hadn't went away. But for whatever reason, he found it was easier to push those emotions away because they just reminded him of the mansion and what Doll did. And THAT, he couldn't handle.
He prioritized killing worker drones because in some ways, it was fun and he was at the top of the food chain. If he did that, he'd survive, so would Uzi and Lizzy, and he could get a sadistic kick out of ripping his prey apart. Something that he used to cope. This was his life now, he might as well enjoy it.
But then there came N, convincing Uzi to make peace with the worker drones and somehow Thad ended up.. "allying" with them in a way. N was scrawny and an easy target and so obviously had a thing for Uzi, it was lowkey annoying. Thad played along with their truce, but he still took the opportunities to mess with and pick on N since he felt a weird bit of antagonistic hostility toward the little guy.
I think Thad could sense Uzi's feelings for him fade over time, with every moment he stayed uncooperative and antagonistic, and it lowkey saddened him. But he couldn't really change how he was acting. It was his way of coping and if it meant losing Uzi overtime, then.. so be it.
But luckily for him, she never seemed to wanna drop him completely. She still cared about him and he still cared about her. His romantic feelings for her faded over time, especially after she and N started dating for real. Besides, he's alive, they're still friends, he has another friend in J.. he can finally kinda start living a normal life.
So they're good. He and Uzi are alive, and they're good. <3
chat its 2am does any of this make sense to you
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aihoshiino · 2 days ago
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Imagine if things never went wrong between Ai and Hikaru, and they ended up getting married and raising Taiki together alongside Aqua and Ruby?
i feel so sorry for all the anons who send me cute prompts and then get responses like this lol
SO!!! To be very clear anon, this is not me being Mad At You and while I do 100% sound heated and mad in this response this is because this is something I feel pretty strongly about but haven't really had an outlet to explain lol. But I actually personally really hate the trend in fandom of portraying Taiki as being raised by Ai and Hikaru in hypothetical happy end AUs and I don't think people are REALLY actually thinking about what they're presenting here.
Like... Hikaru is a rape victim! Taiki is a child produced by Hikaru being raped, as a child himself no less! He did not consent to that pregnancy! Hikaru is not Taiki's father in any sense but the purely biological and he clearly does not have any positive or fatherly feelings for him - his absolute meltdown at Airi and Uehara's funeral is implicitly triggered by the sight of Taiki and his continued existence being a symbol of Airi's violation of him. And if 15 Year Lie is anything to go by, we have every reason to believe that Airi was not above weaponising the fact of her pregnancy to make Hikaru feel complicit in and eternally soiled by what had happened to him.
I hate resorting to this kind of rhetoric but imagine for a second that we were talking about a female character here - you immediately, instinctively recognise how utterly insane it would be to present "raising the baby she was forced to conceive with her rapist at age 11" as a happy end for her so why is Hikaru not given this same grace? What happened to Hikaru is not any less traumatic or less of a violation just because his rapist was the one who got pregnant.
To be clear, it's not like I don't understand where this comes from - this setup tends to exist in scenarios where the characters are uncomplicatedly healed and happy and this also applies to Taiki. His life is so goddamn miserable that I understand the instinct to want to put him in what we know is a happy family and to imagine him, too, as happy and loved there.
But what happened to Hikaru and how Taiki was conceived are topics that cannot and should not be made uncomplicated. I can understand a discomfort or reluctance to engage with the topic of CSA even in a purely canon typical context but the solution to that is not to just handwave it away and refuse to think about its implications when directly engaging with the character who is a CSA victim. I think it's shockingly irresponsible even in just a fandom context to portray "raising his rape baby" as a happy end for Hikaru or to present even implicitly the idea that he has some kind of obligation or fatherly duty to Taiki, a child who was conceived without his consent.
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atoriv-art · 18 hours ago
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What are your thoughts on Sasuke x Gaara
beautiful showstopping saved my life we love you sasugaa <333
ok to actually answer: i think they have a very compelling dynamic! i really really like their chunin exams era with gaara being weirdly obsessed with sasuke because they're both "damaged" to put it in some way!
i wish we got to see sasuke's opinion about it a little more, especially since it comes at a time where he's starting to come around to the idea of using his power to protect and not just kill itachi, but this "i relate to your pain and i need to make sure my pain (and to gaara, therefore my power) is still bigger and more powerful" dynamic is soooo fun to me as an introduction point between them! i find it a lot more compelling than what it got interrupted by 😅
i understand the value of having gaara see someone who is Literally just like him (ie also a jinchuriki), but imo having him deal with someone who he perceives as Emotionally just like him (ie traumatized, angry and lonely) was already excellent...
also!!!!!!!!!! i'm not a fan of how sasuke is characterized in the five kage summit in general (or rather how he's demonized by the framing of it all. i love a good public meltdown. his evil laugh lives in my brain) BUT i looooooooove the scene with gaara confronting him i was NOT expecting it when i was watching it the first time and it was like an angel smiled down upon me.
and and and (guy who gets to bring up the naruto games again) they do a fun reversal of their original dynamic there it in the ninja storm games, with sasuke being the one to flaunt his pain and power against gaara
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LIKE SORRY I JUST THINK IT'S FUNNN!!!! they have a lot in common and deal with it similarly but when gaara's at his lowest sasuke's starting to get better, and that gets flipped later on: when gaara's figured himself out it's sasuke who's completely spiraling... hehehehe!
ok ill put the rest in a read-more. jesus
i get why the pairing isn't very popular (sasuke has like, two of the biggest pairings soaking up all of the fandom attention span alkdsmak) but i cannot standddd the weird consensus that they don't like each other 😭 gaara showed in that scene that he does still hold some amount of respect and empathy for sasuke, enough to offer him a helping hand when he was at his lowest, and sasuke himself was engaging in the conversation much as he disagreed with gaara... it's gaara who starts the fighting back up, not sasuke!
imo gaara's words to naruto later on that get twisted into a "girl dump him" speech (😒.) are obviously meant to serve as a warning to manage expectations, because he Knows his friend is still not going to give up on sasuke and might not even particularly want him to, but he's speaking from the kage angle as opposed to what he personally would want
gaara CRIED for sasuke and stopped the fighting specifically to talk to him for fuck's sake he doesn't HATE him, his siblings have to convince him to give up on trying to talk to him and there's a distinction made of what should be done as a kage. and while i have a thousand things to say about how i don't love how the manga handles its kage characters wrt framing them as Generally Good, i do think it's notable that it's this that makes him give it up
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"personal feelings" meaning, his siblings can recognize that gaara doesn't fucking want to fight him and would really prefer to talk this out. I think about this a lot sorry KSMDKSMDK so much of the consensus is that gaara, specifically, can't stand sasuke and for WHAT.
and as a sidebar i think their insistence on calling e/o by their full names/titles ("Uchiha Sasuke" / "Gaara Of The Sand") is so fucking funny.
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i know what you are. also:
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sasuke engaging in battle banter. OPEN YOUR EYES
ANYWAY!
i actually think that of my "quirky" pairings (the sasugaaneji triad that is.) it's the one with the most canon basis and it's not even close. however it's also the one that i notice people engaging the least with ASKJDNSAKD which is obviously fine it's just a little funny to me
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dwaekkistar · 2 days ago
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Chapter 5: The Turn Around
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        The ride back home was fairly quiet, as Sujin was still somewhat traumatized and processing what had happened. Seungmin was deep in his mind, trying to figure out how he would turn things around with the omega, as he felt a deep regret for his behavior. Changbin and Chan were planning something they thought would help the omega when they got to the house, everyone in the car could still sense a bit of anxiety lingering on his scent. The doctor's appointment had everyone feeling like they regressed with sujin and the pack hadn't even made it past stage 1 with the latter. They were a bit stuck on what steps to take next, but they'd find a way to get the omega to open up to them more. They eventually got home, parking the car in the warm garage.
        Sujin walked straight to his room, not having the mental energy to socialize. The omega wanted to go into his nest and release what was left of the anxiety in his system. He quickly made it to his room closing and locking the door behind him swiftly. He hurriedly went to his bedroom bathroom and got undressed, throwing every article of clothing into the hamper, and began running the shower. He hopped into the shower and practically scrubbed his skin until it turned red. When Sujin felt he had sufficiently cleaned himself he rinsed himself off and turned the shower back off. He got out and still felt a bit frazzled with anxiety, which was typical in his situation. They never quite really helped soothe his anxiety when it came to the thoughts of his uncle. Nesting with his little material back in Auckland was the only thing that ever really helped him, so he was sure it was the same now. He walked to the linen closet in his bathroom pulled out a towel and dried himself as much as possible before throwing it in the same hamper with his dirty clothes and heading to his room. He walks over to the dresser, opens the compartment where his boxers are neatly stored, and pulls out a pair of boxers sliding them on. He stood for a bit contemplating if he wanted fo get fully dressed just to lay in the nest, but he ultimately decided against it. He hoped that nesting this way would not only calm his anxiety but also help him get more in tune with his inner wolf. He hadn't heard from it since he was just a mere little pup before the neglect from his family started ramping up and taking a toll on him.
He hopped into the nest and nuzzled himself against every possible corner of it, taking in the scents that were still heavily laced into every item in the nest. He snuggled close to the blanket that smelled of the seaside, inhaling deeply as he let the scent wash over him. As he did so his body relaxed to the point it felt like he almost went limp. He took in another deep breath of the scent when his eyes suddenly glowed gold, a small little voice screaming mate at him. He bolted into an upward sitting position, still holding the blanket that was pungent with the lead alpha seaside scent in a confused daze. 'Where did that voice come from?' he thought to himself, it was weird as he heard this small voice, a voice that he'd always told himself was how he would have sounded if he was like the other cute and petite omegas he'd seen growing up. As if on cue the voice spoke again, 'Inner wolf... have we been disconnected for that long ?' the voice said sassily. 'I guess so..?' sujin mentally said in response to his inner wolf as he sat up. 'Sniff nest... we need it' Not wanting to argue with or disappoint his inner wolf Sujin immediately went back to inhaling the scents in his nest, immediately becoming more relaxed than before as his eyes glowed gold once more.
A round of knocks abruptly went off as he took in the scents, causing him to jump. His eyes returned to their normal color, and he immediately hid his mostly unclothed body under the blanket before yelling to come in. The door slowly opened, when Sujin got a glimpse of platinum locks of hair. He let out a soft sigh upon realizing it was just Felix.
"Hey, I was just coming to check up on you..." He softly spoke as he slipped deeper into the room closing the door behind him. " I heard you had a rough day at the doctor's office." He then carefully sat at the foot of the nest area, not wanting to get in out of respect seeing as omegas took their nest seriously.
"Yeah, I had quite a day," Sujin replied softly, " thought I would just decompress in the nest for a bit..."
"Do you mind if I come in the nest ?" Felix said comfortingly albeit laced with caution "I wanted to help comfort you but I don't wanna break any boundaries."
"You can come in the nest," Sujin said as a soft smile grew on his face, "you're always welcome in my nest."
Felix then carefully got into the nest and sat pretty close to Sujin, shooting the omega a smile. It was at this moment the younger remembered he wasn't fully clothed, and wondered if the alpha next to him took notice of his lack of clothes. As if reading his mind Felix reached his hand out and gently rested it on sujin's bare side. The younger immediately shuddered at the touch but in a good way. For some reason, the alpha's touch made him very giddy and he couldn't understand why, until his inner wolf was practically yelling mate at him again. Why would his inner wolf be saying mate to someone with a completely different scent than earlier and what did that mean?
"Is there anything you wanna talk about or do while we wait for them to finish up dinner?" Felix softly asked, his deep voice snapping Sujin back to reality. He thought thoroughly before answering the freckled alpha.
"Why does Seungmin not like me ?" Sujin said with a tinge of embarrassment lacing his voice. It wasn't like him to voice things that bothered him let alone his emotions but for some odd reason, he felt like it was safe enough to explain these things to Felix. It was like his heart had a strong pull towards the other that he could not explain. But upon hearing Sujin's words Felix's face dropped somewhat into a frown.
"Uhm...let's just say we have a past with omegas..." He said quietly with a hint of hesitation lacing his voice, "I think it would be better if he explained it to you."
"Oh? Okay.." the omega said with confusion. What did Felix mean by they had a past with omegas... was there another omega before him? And if there was what happened that they weren't around anymore? "Well, what did you guys do while we were away today?"
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"Oh, we just kinda relaxed I watched TV while checking in on you guys for the most part." The alpha replied with a faint smile. "We like to make sure everyone's doing okay even if they're not away for long."
"Oh... that's kinda sweet..." Sujin replied shyly, "Never experienced something like that"
"What do you mean?" Felix said as his brows furrowed, "Weren't you in a family pack before this?"
"Oh, uhm my family pack didn't like me if we're being honest.." the younger said trailing off as his face suddenly soured at the turn of the conversation. He didn't like talking about his family pack much considering they never treated him as part of it.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Felix said as he inched closer to sujin, prepared to comfort the omega at any second. How the word family made the omega's face scrunch in hurt broke the alpha's heart.
"Not really," Sujin replied as he looked off deep in thought, "it's nothing of importance I should bring up anyways."
Felix decided upon hearing the younger's words that he wouldn't push it but something deep in him knew that part of whatever caused Sujin to come back home in the state he did had to do with his family. He also knew he along with the rest of the pack would do anything in their heart to undo whatever trauma the omega's family pack inflicted on him.
Just as Felix finished that thought, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He carefully pulled his phone out while Sujin watched him to see that Minho sent a text about dinner being ready.
"We should probably head downstairs," Felix said as he carefully left the nest,  "Minho says that dinner is ready and I'm kinda starving."
"Oh okay," Sujin says softly, "I'll meet you downstairs. I have to put on some clothes." Felix then shot the omega a smile before leaving the room. Sujin got up from under the blanket he was hiding his lower body with, making it over to his wardrobe and slipping into a pair of sweatpants and a black tee. He also wore socks for extra warmth and comfort as he hated how he always shivered without them. The omega quietly went downstairs to the kitchen and was not surprised to see the entire pack already sat and being served.
"Sujin-ah it took you long enough to get here.." Minho blurted out happily, " I was worried the food was going to get cold by the time you got here."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to take long.." the younger said quietly as he sat in the only available seat left between Changbin and Chan.
"It's fine," Minho said as he placed a plate of food in front of the omega, " as long as you're eating everything is good."
Sujin began to eat as he watched the alpha serve himself and join them at the table. He smiled slightly as he placed the first forkful in his mouth, and the food tasted delicious. The alphas in charge of cooking today decided to make kimchi fried rice and bulgogi, with a side of panjeon. The omega figured they had to have a cookbook somewhere because there was no way a pack full of alphas knew these dishes off the top of their head. But as he finished the thought he realized that was a very traditional and conservative way of thinking and he didn't want to remind himself of his family pack. He annoyingly realized he learned so many things through his former family pack that he would have to unlearn. He continued to silently eat his food as the others conversed with each other at the table.
The pack truly wanted to include him, but they felt it was better to give him a break from socializing after what he had experienced earlier in the day. When everyone finished their food, Sujin was the last to put his plate in the sink. Usually one of the alpha's would just load all the dishes into the dishwasher when everyone's done but it seems like they all went off and did their own thing as they waited for the omega to finish his meal. So he took matters into his hand loading the dishwasher the way he saw the others do so many times. He even made sure to load the cleaning detergent in properly before turning it on. As he stood back up he smelled a deep waft of brown sugar reach his nose. He knew someone entered the kitchen he just didn’t know who as the scent was still unfamiliar to him despite spending almost a few weeks with the pack so far.
What he didn’t expect when he turned around was Seungmin standing just right before the island separating them.
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Taglist: @missrandomheart @galaxycatdrawz@hydrawaterdragon @justastraymoa @3rachasninja @justiceforvillains
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Gravity Falls Constellations AU concepts
NOTE: i haven't read any of the books, i'm hoping to get them for christmas, that's why most of this is focused on Mabel and Stan and everyone that side of the portal, rather than Dip and Ford in the other dimensions
that's also a working title idk what i'm doing it just sounds cool okay
Concept: Dipper gets pulled into the portal after pressing the button and the shutdown failed 
Journal 3 went with him so Mabel and Stan can’t restart the portal 
Picture of him and Mabel went through as well 
Somehow they get the government guys off of them 
Dipper ends up nearly dying and Ford saves him
Ford tells Dipper his side of the story of what happened with Stan
he's also impressed with Dipper's additions to the journal
Meanwhile Stan suggests lying to the pines parents/everyone else and telling them dipper died, and he ends up breaking down and telling Mabel how he lost his twin too, and if that didn’t work to get him back, then it was hopeless 
Then Mabel tells him not to give up, gives him a sticker, and tells him that they are going to get their twins back 
Mabel and Stan have to convince McGucket to help them with the portal but he’s not very stable and progress is super slow because he keeps getting triggered when the portal does portal things
Stan is very stern about keeping Mabel away from the portal
Mabel tells her parents the truth about what happened, but when they ask what really happened, Stan tells them that Dipper went out the night all the gravity anomalies were happening and got lost, and they’ve been trying to find him 
This is the story he tells anyone else who asks, so the police do end up looking for him for weeks 
Gravity Falls is a small town so pretty much everyone knows after a bit 
Mabel is sad 
She stays the rest of the summer in Gravity Falls, hoping to get Dipper back and getting comfort from her friends, but when she goes back she hides in her sweater the entire bus ride 
She got a pine tree hat from Stan and Stan took those away from the gift shop because he doesn’t want to see anyone else wearing that hat 
It’s dipper’s
At one point, Mabel finds Dipper 3 and 4 in the woods, but she only sees Dipper 3 at first and immediately goes to hug him, crying on his shoulder
He starts disintegrating from her tears and she watches in horror and holds him as he melts away 
Dipper 4 comes behind her and is like “you know we’re clones right” and explains to her 
Pretty traumatic 
that's all i've got so far. plus the sketch i posted earlier (featured under the cut)
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hollowed-theory-hall · 6 hours ago
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Your ginny metas are always so good! In yhe last one you ended it talking about Luna and Harry cause she's the only one girl Gunny wouldn't consider a threat, but now I'm wondering how would Ginny react to Harry figuring out he is gay after the war? Bet she never thought she had to stop him from looking at boys too, that will probably hit her hard
Thank you so much! 💛
(Anon is referring to this post about Ginny and this post where I explain why I think Harry's gay)
And oh boy, Ginny is not going to like that. I don't think she is particularly homophobic or anything like that, like, if one of her brothers came out as gay, she'd probably be pretty supportive. I just think that if Harry, the boy she's been fixated on being with and idolized and convinced herself she loves (even though I'm not sure I'd call it love), came out as gay, I think she'd be insulted a little.
Like, it would be like a punch to the gut. Like, I mentioned in the post I linked, Ginny has tied up a lot of her self-worth and who she is as a person on being Harry's girl. Like, she changed her behavior for him. She makes sure to be agreeable and never cry in front of him because she can't have him see her as weak and weepy like Cho... I think Harry coming out to her and breaking up with her seemingly for good would force her to acknowledge her fixation on Harry wasn't great, and that maybe her and Harry's relationship isn't perfect and wasn't meant to be.
I honestly think she'd be happier with another guy who actually is attracted to her, but she's going to struggle with this realization a lot before she reaches that point.
I think she'd end up being pretty cold and bitter toward Harry in the immediate aftermath, again, not out of homophobia, just out of how much of her own identity got wrapped up in the concept of their relationship.
So, yeah, I think something like this would hit Ginny hard, but it also depends on when after the war it happens.
Like, if immediately post-book 7 (no epilogue) Harry tells her they aren't getting back together because he realized he's gay, I think she'd be more chill with it. Disappointed, yes, a little bitter at first, definitely, but, it won't be as hard of a hit to her self-worth if he told her that after they got back together post-book 7.
Like, I think, if they got together for Harry's 8th year, and during that year he figures out he's gay — that's the point Ginny would take it the worst, probably. Like, they're just done with the war, Fred died, so many people died. Harry was left as Teddy's only family besides Andromeda. Both of them are traumatized as fuck and don't actually know how to relate to each other and talk about their trauma. So, their relationship is already pretty rocky. Add to that the fact I don't think Harry told Ginny much about the Horcruxes, or himself being one, and she knows he isn't telling her everything, and you really have a mess of a relationship. So Hinny at this stage, are likely not very healthy as a relationship and are a little resentful of each other (Ginny probably does resent Harry a little for keeping her in the dark and leaving her at Hogwarts and not coming back earlier, while Harry probably gets annoyed whenever Ginny tries to talk about what they went through because Harry's way of dealing with trauma is bottling it up), but like in year 6, they snog and distract each other without really talking through their issues.
And then Harry comes out (if it happens in 8th year, there's a high possibility because he fancies someone else — a guy).
I think Ginny would be hit hard. I think at first she wouldn't really believe it, like: "if you want to break up with me you don't need an excuse," but when she realizes it really isn't an excuse, that he's serious, I think she'd accept it, she wouldn't really blame Harry. But a lot of her own identity is mixed up in dating Harry Potter, so I think Ginny would be having a miserable time and would go back to avoiding being around Harry until she built up her self-confidence again or found a better relationship (or both). Like, I think she'd spiral a bit if it were to happen during 8th year (or a bit after) after they were back together for a bit. For Harry, he'd feel a little bad about Ginny, but, like, he was never as invested in their relationship as she was, so he'd take the breakup easier.
If they actually got married and had at least one kid and then Harry tells her, that's gonna be a mess for both of them (but better than if it happened in 8th year, I think). Harry would feel so incredibly guilty that he'd probably decide not to tell her for the longest time so he wouldn't ruin it. Once he does tell her, though, Ginny would be devastated (and still won't show Harry any of it, or maybe she would, depends how her character developed up to that point). I think an illogical part of her would always blame herself a little — like she could've done something different to avoid this outcome even when she knows it doesn't work that way. But I think in this scenario their divorce wouldn't be as bad as if Harry was interested in another girl. Like, I think Ginny would prefer him falling for a guy rather than another woman for her own ego's sake. Even if I can't see their relationship being amazing after this, they'd both be mature enough to make it a decent divorce by this point, I would like to believe.
It would be pretty awkward as Harry is still invited to the Weasleys for all the holidays and could maybe make a fun oneshoot fic of the first Christmas at the Weasleys after Harry's and Ginny's divorce.
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crescentmoonrider · 8 months ago
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hakaba kitarou may be a horrible child, but he is my horrible child (gets dissolved in acid water)
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hanzajesthanza · 14 days ago
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geralt is also a most real depiction of good quality fatherhood and great girldad representation because EVEN THOUGH witchers don’t even experience aging at the same rate as non-GMO humans, EVEN THOUGH it would be “biologically impossible,”
geralt having had been raising a pre-teen girl for maybe a few months to a year already “gave the impression of having aged,” his “face slashed by wrinkles.” the emotional toll on this man from raising she-devil ciri
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and this is only the very beginning of the saga. BEFORE everything goes to shit. the wrinkles have set in
#i know this is description is colored by triss’… [sighs] aroused… point of view#but the lines in the second screenshot are such a good description of him come on 🥺#same with when cahir sees ciri then him at thanedd#it’s not canon but please also apply to yennefer post-thanedd 🙏#can you imagine geralt and yennefer reuniting at stygga castle and yennefer only got even more MILFy#sorry. who said that#it’s actually surprising that when geralt frees her from her shackles#we don’t get a paragraph about how he was down bad. not the time geralt but you know he would be thinking ‘ravishing’#meanwhile yennefer is covered in blood and bruises and her hands are fucked from torture and geralt’s still adoring her beauty#yennefer: at her most undignified | geralt: i would worship her#yes yes i know they were defeated and horribly empty at stygga castle#but i’m just saying despite it all the love and attraction persisted. despite IT ALL#you know like they changed so much and got even more fucked up and traumatized#well i’m just raising my hand to say well also they also got sexier.#actually fuck it remember she appears like a titaness for a brief moment. her short queen REALNESS#like i do think geralt deciding to split up is what further doomed the hanza (they were already doomed but you know)#(it was very scooby doo of him to do that)#(on the way there) ​angoulême sees stygga on the cliffside jutting out above the lake: what?! that creepy castle… nuh-uh…#milva: … would you do it for a bump of fisstech? | angoulême: … | milva: two bumps of fisstech?#um anyways#i was going to say that ​once geralt freed yennefer it was OVERRR for vilgefortz and skellen and co#BOOO you were all fucked. woman unleashed#remember when bonhart attacks yennefer it is like a lion and a panther in the cell#geralt just unleashed the panther on them#they really should have had yennefer under stronger security like i guess vilgefortz’ misogyny really was the death of him#that is also kind of true because he dies because of geralt’s amulet from fringilla#so it was literally because of several women and a girl and also a vampire that he triumphs#you know when you put dandelion with a group of women it feels like a fox in a henhouse. even if said fox is stupid and gets kicked#however putting regis with a group of women is something like the angel that appeared to mary#the elbow-high diaries
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tansyuduri · 2 days ago
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@larluce Thank you for the tag and for the rec!!! You are amazing too! I can't believe I'm working on our second collab!!!! 1. How many works do you have on AO3? 31! 13 of which are Melin the rest are from YEARS ago.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
297,340
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently just Merlin. There is one dragon age fic I MIGHT eventually go back to but merlin for the forseeable future!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Fever Talk
Treat Me Warmly
Better Than Burning Merlin Enchanted (my first colab with Larluce)
Unthinkable All of these are what I tend to stick too for my fics that are below 40K+ Aka a mixture of fluff, Hurt/confort, angst, banter, whump, ETC with a happy ending. The next one would be one of my long fics XD
5. Do you respond to comments?
Consitering how happy they make me! Yes Every one!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I'll be honnest with you! It would be in my old fics for the Dragon Age Fandom and not Merlin. I tend toward happy endings for Merlin fics. Likely Forget me not or Good Boy
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Uhhhhhhhh UHHHHHHHHH UHHHHHH Well Most of my merlin ones have happy endings? If we're going least traumatized Um PERHAPS treat me warmly?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Oh not really hate but I got this one person commenting on my longfics that Merlin deserves better because arthur would go back to gwen if he could and that they don't like gwen. Like I'm sorry but my Arthur returns series is my love letter to the cannon version of the show in my mind. I'm not going to pretend Arthur never loved Gwen Even if the fic's main paring is Merthur, And even if I belive Gwen would be more likely to love Arthur but stay with the man she remarried (Who she also loved because In my mind she married again to a noble she loved for secrity AND LOVE because I want her to be happy in her life) and knew into old age in the afterlife.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I include sex scenes in longfics usually and if asked for a request. I do not think its what I am best at but I do my best!!!
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? NOPE!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
NOPE!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I am borning and only speak english but I would never say no to this!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
with @larluce I'm actualy currently about to do my first edit of our second colab! 14. What’s your all time favourite ship? MERTHUR
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
When I started writing merthur I had a rule that I do not publish any of a fic until I am done with the entire thing. I do have some drafts however One is my version of What happens post cannon during gwen's reign. I Don't think I'll ever finish it because I'm CRAZY about merthur. and having Merthur in a fic helps keep me going with it.
16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I am good at keeping In character, Besides that Dialouge and feelings I think. I like to know my characters deeply and be able to keep them fairly close to their cannon versions. Of course characters have LOTS of cannon versions depending on which time in cannon and how the story affects them. BUT still its somthing I like to focus on
17. What are your writing weaknesses? Problubly having enough decription. I'm NOT a super visual thinker so yeah. 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Normally it should be translated or knowlable. Spells are an exeption
19. First fandom you wrote for? Um I was not in any fandom but I wrote a LOTR spoof in elementary school
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Oh easy. Our Stars Still Shine Together was my first long merlin fic and the first that I wrote after realizing I could write again
@shanastoryteller @shana-rosee @catsconflictscopicsandchamomile @calamity-talvi @247merthur
@saurix5 @groundbreakingdot872
Twenty Questions for Fanfic Writers
Thank you @liviapeleia for the asks <3!!
Tagging longtime frond @breadkween, fabulous runner of @merlinmicrofic @queerofthedagger (thank you!) and reader and writer who's left me lovely comments @achillesuwu. @mythandmagic, Ao3 is down rn so I can't check but if you have any fics yourself, here's an ask game for you! There's no obligation, presh or time limit of course! Also like @liviapeleia said before me, consider yourself tagged if you see this!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
11
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
265,960
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Right now just Merlin. I've written for other fandoms in the past but each of those works have been standalone.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Always His Destiny | Merlin | A true love's kiss, resurrection and golden age AU written for Glompfest 2024.
Like Every Tree Stands On Its Own | Merlin | A longfic inspired by other Arthurian media/sources featuring Wildman Prophet!Merlin and a magical forest. This is my magnum opus.
What's Mightier Than a Sword and Robs a Prince of His Servant? | Merlin | Pre-slash Merthur minor canon-divergence in which Merlin's talents in speech writing land him a promotion and Arthur is Not Pleased™.
Only Human | Venom | A short gift/exchange fic about masturbation, lol. The fic I received in exchange was also about masturbation. In my defence this was a writing exercise (I promise).
The Sky Is Falling | Nightvale | Unfinished fic about alcoholism recovery, love, community and the complete collapse of reality.
...Okay wow what a mix :D
5. Do you respond to comments?
I really love comments and I love getting into discussions with readers! It really makes my day to see that someone has commented on one of my fics.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Am I allowed to choose a soon to be published WIP? Words Are Dead, a microfic inspired by the Agnes Obel song of the same name in which Merlin and Arthur are unable to communicate when Arthur returns. Merlin has lost Brythonic, his first language, and his capacity to relearn it. He's simply been alive for far too long and his mind has suffered :(
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Like Every Tree has a prolonged bittersweet kind of ending but I think Always His Destiny wins.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nope/not yet!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes, though so far it hasn't been the focus of any of my works, there's no reason why that can't change though (the Venom one doesn't count, I make the rules here). As to what kind I'd say loving and intimate, I guess? Sometimes with a bit of a hurt/comfort element to it. Again, no reason why I can't branch out in the future ;)
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
While not labelled as a crossover, Like Every Tree was heavily inspired by Arthurian media both new and old, and one medieval Irish source. I did so much research for this fic and I'm still down those various rabbit holes. It was a homage to my favourite, janky cartoon movie from my childhood Quest for Camelot. Otherwise I don't write proper crossovers.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Don't think so.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Also don't think so.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No but I would love to!
14. What’s your all time favourite ship?
I guess it really has to be Merthur! I don't recall a ship ever having such a hold on me. Those two are doomed but made for each other. The way they interact is so much fun to read/write.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Damn, this is definitely Be Here When the Weather Turns, a Mushi-shi fic. It has a very soft, restful and liminal vibe and I adore it. I really do wish I can finish it someday. So sometimes like a song, you share a piece of media with someone, or you associate it with a particular chapter in your life, and that song/piece of media brings up feelings. I'd like to think it's still worth a read. If you don't know Mushi-shi, please consider checking it out, it was weird and quiet and beautiful.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I can't deny that I put a lot of love into this hobby. Also @breadkween has told me that they really like my dialogue :3
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I'm really prone to typos. I can re-read something a hundred times and just fail to see them. I'm a very slow writer; what I put out usually goes through months of edits and change-ups. Lastly I have embraced a faux-pas or two for fun, such as starting sentences with 'and.' And no one can stop me >:)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I'd only be comfortable writing dialogue in a language I've formerly learned and have some level of familiarity with for fear of getting something wrong.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Okay I love this question because the answer is the highly formative Garth Nix's Keys to the Kingdom series, a YA series I was obsessed with, and have continued to read, and re-read as an adult and as unexpected prequels and sequels popped up in more recent years. I wrote it on a literal floppy disk :D First fandom I wrote for that I actually published online was Undertale.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Definitely Like Every Tree. I'm just really proud of it :3
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runningatypufullspeed · 8 months ago
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I AM BEING FORCED TO ROLEPLAY AS SCYTHE FUCKING GODDARD FOR MY SCHOOLA SISIGNMRNT CAN SOMEONE END ME PLEASE END ME NOW
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al-luviec · 1 month ago
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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infizero · 7 months ago
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the more i learn about pico's history the funnier his presence in fnf is to me. like he really is this iconic character, reincarnated in this game just to be bf's loser bad boy ex
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cosmicswritings · 1 year ago
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while megatron is a natural carrier and has carried many times in his life, starscream isn't, has never carried and it's not something he can naturally do, even though he wants to do it. in a lot of my aus, esp my tfp aus, the two of them run into a lot of trouble when they get together regarding starscream and carrying. it's weird to him because seekers don't ever carry, they are great sires- he's carried with seekers before during the war and even a bit after. And like all seekers, megatron just realizes starscream can't carry naturally, but it's still a desire of his and while megatron has only ever carried, he doesn't mind siring for starscream just because of how close they are. or at least, attempting to. starscream has to get a lot of procedures done to do it, many failed and unsuccessful. It's a first for siring for megatron too but he wants to do it with starscream.
the point of this little fic and running au of mine is that, while starscream has so many difficulties carrying, megatron is there for him. with every failed procedure and how depressed starscream is, he tells starscream about his own experiences to make him feel better. starscream eventually asks about it, how it feels, what it's like, emergence, etc. and when things don't work for starscream the first few times, megatron is always there to encourage him, and he convinces starscream not to give up.
eventually, things do work out and starscream is able to carry multiple times, but starscream enjoys hearing a lot about megatron's experiences. Starscream also listens carefully to what Megatron says about his past. He had many relationships where he was happy with his partners, and he carried and he and those sparklings are in close contact, but there are some more somber stories, where Megatron's sparklings were taken away from him when he was in the mines, where he was only used as property to produce more miners and he's lost those sparklings. Or where shortly after he had his sparklings, his partners took them from him no trusting him to be a good carrier (during the war)
Obviously, Starscream takes it upon himself to track down megatron's missing children, the ones he's lost contact with, the ones he doesn't know, etc. This isn't something unique to my tfp stories, where this au started. In most of my fics, Starscream goes looking for all the children taken from Megatron while he was carrying.
But the gist of this is that, Starscream has a lot of issues and difficulties with carrying because seekers aren't built for it, but megatron is always there to help him and make him feel like less of a failure and also help him after his emergances, because it's incredibly difficult for starscream.
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